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Keeping our Children a top Priority

Part One

This article was inspired by a morning talk show on the radio. Yes I listen to radio, more than tv. I want to keep the tv to a minimum in my home so I’ve found radio to be the easiest way for me to get news without exposing my daughter to images that she really doesn’t need to see.

I don’t know how many of you listen to radio but some of the radio talk shows can be very good. Today’s topic was the lack of parental involvement in our children today. The consensus was that most parents are too busy trying to keep up with the jones to bother with their children. They don’t keep tabs on them. They don’t seem to care where or what their kids are doing.

Now I”m going to venture a guess that they really do care but, and this is a big but, they are too busy working to make money to buy things and keep working for more things. Now I’m the first to admit that I buy things I don’t need and I could really work harder to reduce our family’s debt but that’s not what I”m talking about. I’m going to center on the “big” things.

My family lives in a modest house by today’s standards. While a lot of my friends live in houses costing 250,000 or more, our’s is about 1/3 of that. Why? You wonder? Well even though we didn’t have kids when we purchased the house we wanted kids and we both knew that I wanted to be a stay at home mom. Our house is small by today’s standards but it’ll work. And it is honestly much larger than the house I grew up in. Interesting how standards change, isn’t it?

Why be a stay at home mom and give up or severely neglect my career for years on end? Well because I really think it is vitally important that one parent, doesn’t have to be mom, should be at home all the time. Kids get into less trouble just by someone being there and if they are an involved and active parent then trouble is even less likely to occur. I look forward to spending my afternoons in dance classes, someday picking my girl up from school, and helping with her homework. I’m going to want to know her friends. And if I can manage it this will be the house where all the kids hang out at, when she’s older. Just being available also makes it more likely that your kid will talk to you when they need to.
Remember though just being present isn’t enough. You’ve got to care. You’ve got to stay involved. And you’ve got to maintain that relationship with your kids.

We have one car. Though we’re saving diligently for two. We did have two and I had my dream car a jeep wrangler. Which I sold so that we could have one fuel efficient family car. So why do so many people have two and sometimes three cars. All big gas guzzling suv’s?

I think a lot of this is keeping up with the jones. And it’s hard not to compete. I’ll admit that I sometimes feel embarrassed that my house isn’t four bedrooms. And oh my gosh we only have one bathroom!!!! How do we survive? Having one car, when your husband works long hours, is not easy on a stay at home mom especially in winter when you’re essentially stuck indoors for months. And our lot is only 100 feet by 60 feet, most of my friends own an acre of land. Our clothes are not all brand names, and we try to catch things on sale as often as possible.

It’s odd when I think of how I grew up. It was a tiny house by today’s standards. My room was 7 by 9 feet you could barely get a bed and dresser in there. My daughter’s room is 10 by 12 and somehow I still feel terrible that it’s too small???? Our backyard growing up was only 20 by 50 feet. Now my daughter has twice that and somehow I feel bad that she won’t have enough room to run around???? What is going on with all of our society today. I had friends growing up that had to share a room with two other siblings. Today people look at you strangely if you talk about having your kids sharing a room. Like you’re torturing them or something?

While I want my daughter to have more than I did I don’t want her to think that these THINGS are a necessity for having a family. The things are all blessings but an acre of land, a four bedroom home, and three cars are NOT a requirement for having a family or having a good family.

Copyright 2007 Kelly Paal
Kelly Paal is a Freelance Nature and Landscape Photographer, exhibiting nationally and internationally. She started her own business Kelly Paal Photography. She has an educational background in photography, business, and commercial art. Please visit www.kellypaalphotography.com for more FREE how to articles.